1. One teeny tiny popstrel has been calling out other teeny tiny popstrels on their faking. Good. M.I.A, in this month’s NME, had the following to say, “I’m concerned by how someone like Ke$ha can so blatantly copy Uffie. Everyone’s fine with it. Not a fucking lawsuit in sight.” Of Gag, “People say we’re similar, that we both mix all these things in the pot and spit them out differently, but she spits it out exactly the same. None of her music’s reflective of how weird she wants to be or thinks she is. She models herself on Grace Jones and Madonna, but the music sounds like 20-year-old Ibiza disco, you know? She’s not progressive, but she’s a good mimic.”
2. Speaking of mime’s it must be hard being Banksy, not only are you apparently solely responsible for the desecration of the divinity of Street Art, but you have a fat annoying Frenchman following you around and making millions copying your style. Which, when you think about it, is really fucking annoying! On the eve of the release of his documentary ‘Exit Through The Gift Shop,’ The Hidden One’ made known his chagrin in the greatest quote of the decade, “His [Thierry Guetta aka Mr Brainwash] art sells for roughly double what mine does these days. Gore Vidal once wrote that ‘Every time a friend of mine succeeds, a little bit of me dies.’ I’d amend that to ‘Every time one of my friends borrows my ideas, mounts a huge art show and becomes a millionaire celebrity,’ a little bit of me wants him dead.”
3. Other artists having a hard time are five Iraqis whose work is due to be shown at the Corner House Gallery in Manchester this month. Most notably without them. Why? Because we helped the US blow their country to smithereens, yet woe betide not having a bank statement to get your visa legitimized!! (Featured artwork, ‘Born In Jail’ seen left) As any semblance of infrastructure in Iraq has been turned to dust and carried away in the breeze, the UK border did the diplomatic equivalent of putting their fingers in their ears and going “LALALALA”, instead of coming up with some alternative provision for their situation. Bit like robbing someone’s clothes in the street and then accusing them of being a dirty naked perverts, me thinks, but that’s how we roll these days. Great.
4. Speaking of rolling, (see what I did there??) a fat hedgehog (I personally like to call them hogdehegs – not that you should care) at Fife’s animal rescue centre is unable to roll up and protect himself cos he’s a fat little piglet disguised as a hodgeheg. So we did what we do best in this country and sued him. I’m Kidding. We denied him a visa. Kidding again! No, that other thing we do good – we put him on a diet. And now he rolls righteously! And if I could have a legitimate reason for putting fat animals at the end of every single post, believe me I’d do it.